It seems to be traditional for so-called psychics and non-psychics alike to give their predictions for the upcoming year. Let me look into my special crystal ball and offer up some of mine.
SPORTS
The New Orleans Saints, my favorite NFL team, won’t win the Super Bowl in 2005. That was an easy one. I think they might make the playoffs, but will lose in the first round.
Mississippi State University will improve on their pathetic 2004 record by only 2 or 3 games but still lose to Ole Miss in the annual “Egg Bowl.”
Florida State University will lose 3 games during the regular season including at least one loss to an ACC opponent (most likely Miami). Fans will call for the dismisal of offensive coordinator Jeff Bowden but head coach Bobby Bowden who incidentally is Jeff’s Dad will keep him on staff in his OC position.
In a related prediction, due to FSU losing those games, some fans will call for Bobby Bowden to retire but “Saint Bobby” will stay on and eventually in a year or so will have those fans eating crow.
Former 2004 starting QB Chris Rix will be drafted into the NFL in middle to late rounds but will be cut before the season starts. He will turn up in NFL: Europe in a backup role.
Even though the Dodgers now have one of the best offensive players in J.D. Drew, they will still not make it to the World Series. They will be in the playoffs however.
Due to testimony and various investigative reports it will become more and more obvious that Barry Bonds knowingly took steroids although Bonds will continue to deny it. The steroid use controversy will be one of the top stories in MLB although the majority of fans really won’t care.
Players and owners in the NHL will continue to refuse to budge and the 2005-2006 season will be pushed back or never occur. Minor league and European hockey will prosper as a result. There may even be at least one NHL team which will declare bankruptcy. Fans will offer little to no sympathy to either side.
ENTERTAINMENT
Brittney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Ashlee Simpson, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie will all remain in the news although they will remain highly annoying.
Any movie J-Lo will be associated with in 2005 (either filming in 2005 or released in 2005 will bomb). Also she and current hubby Marc Anthony will split.
Whoever CBS chooses to replace Dan Rather as anchor of their evening news program will come under heavy criticism when their ratings remain very low.
POLITICS
This one’s easy. Democrats and Republicans, liberals and democrats, Bill O’Reilly and Al Franken will continue to hate each other and nasty words will be uttered against each other. In short, United States politics will be bottom-of-the-barrel as usual.
Another easy one…American troops will still be in Iraq all through 2005 and President Bush will receive heavy criticism both warranted and unwarranted throughout the year.
The United Nations will be drawn further down in the ongoing “food for oil” scandal and more evidence will be uncovered showing rampant corruption within its upper echelon. There will be a worldwide call for UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan to step down however he will refuse to do so.
Osama bin-Laden will still remain elusive due to limitations made on troops searching for him by Pakistani governmental factions as well as various regional warlords.
MISCELLANEOUS
The sun will continue to rise in the east and set in the west.
There will be an increase of conspiracy wackos claiming all sorts of silly things. Rational people will ignore them.
Even though many crappy television shows will be placed on DVD in 2005, one of my alltime favorites and a very fine show “Frank’s Place” will still not be made available on DVD.
Paul Kantner’s “Planet Earth Rock & Roll Orchestra” album that was originally released on vinyl in the 80’s will still not be made commercially available in 2005.
Network sitcoms will remain stupid and still suck. More and more people will turn to cable channels for their entertainment. Another easy prediction.
Clearchannel Communications will buy up more stations and more and more insiders will despise them for becoming even more of a broadcasting behemoth.
All self-proclaimed psychics, mentalists, intuitives, etc. will have many more wrong predictions for the year than right ones proving once again how pathetic they all really are. Yet there will be enough stupid and gullible people to keep most of them in business.
Final prediction: There will be surprising events in 2005 that no one will have predicted. Duh!
I am not a psychic nor do I believe there exists any legitimate psychics (I consider them all frauds, phonies and con artists). Even though I know several mentalism tricks and have performed then, I did so and do so only in fun. Please do not make bets based upon these prediction. Do not remove tags from mattresses until after purchase. Do not taunt happy fun ball.
Whatever. Let’s see what 2005 brings.
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